I can't believe it's been two months since my last blog post. I've started many posts in my head on my walks, but by the time I had a few minutes to write, whatever I wanted to say was past history. I think the bottom line is the longer I go between posts, the more life and normalcy is happening. The time between thinking about cancer lengthens, although it never quite goes away. I feel strong, healthy and blessed right now.
The one remnant from treatment that is still causing me problems is my shoulder. As the muscles in my chest area healed, and I resumed the activities I love, I noticed a range of motion problem in my left shoulder. If I caught a tennis ball with my left hand and the force moved my arm backward, a sharp pain resonated in my shoulder. If I reached too far overhead, it would hurt. Even reaching back to get my seatbelt would engage painful twinges. For the most part, my shoulder didn't affect what I wanted to do, so I ignored it.
Then sometime this fall, I decided to engage in range of motion exercises to work out the soreness. When I saw my oncologist in November, she guessed it was tendonitis since I had the pain mostly in the top of my shoulder. Her recommendation was to try ibuprofen and exercise for a month. If it didn't improve, she was going to refer me for physical therapy. I googled shoulder tendonitis and found some range of motion exercises and faithfully performed them every day. The shoulder weakened. I could no longer do a pushup without pain. I worried about the effects of the pain reliever on my stomach and immune system. Some days it felt better, and other days it ached all day long. On the day my month was over, my oncologist's nurse followed up with me. I can't say enough good things about how well Dr. Kohn stays on top of all the details of her patients, especially since I was leaning towards putting off calling until after school was out for Christmas. I told the nurse that I would like to see a physical therapist, and the next day I received a calI from Evergreen Outpatient Physical Therapy. The receptionist set me up with eight appointments, twice a week. Once I got the appointments on my calendar, it was easy enough to fit them into my schedule.
My PT, with an extensive background working with sports injuries, told me that every exercise and stretch I was performing up until now was actually hurting my shoulder. He said that with the shoulder, "no pain, no gain," does not work. The muscles need to be stretched slowly and strengthened. He's seen other patients who have had radiation have similar side effects, with the radiation causing the muscles, tendons, and ligaments to shorten, dry out, and become less elastic. Because my shoulder wasn't moving properly, my neck muscles had to do what they weren't designed to do, which also affected the upper back. Remember the back problem I had? The achiness would return if I was on my feet for long periods of time. Now I see the problem originated with my stiff shoulder. It's amazing how the anatomy fits together. My PT showed me a stretch with a foam roller that loosened up all the muscles from my neck to my upper back. I've been using a tightly rolled towel at home, but yesterday he highly recommend I get a foam roller for the added effectiveness. He gave me a rubber band to hang on the door to help stretch and strengthen the muscles. My shoulder now feels lighter since the stiffness is starting to loosen up. He is convinced that had I not come in, my shoulder would have continued to deteriorate and I would have lost the range of motion I had.
Yesterday we received a beautiful blanket of snow and many of the schools were closed. The physical therapy office opened, but the receptionist who called me said I could choose to cancel if I wanted to. My appointment wasn't until 11, and by then, the snow was starting to melt, so I chose to go in. As I was doing exercises, my eyes looked out on the cancer wing of the hospital. It dawned on me that my year anniversary of completing radiation (December 17th) passed by without me noticing. Last Christmas, I was so grateful to be finished with all my active treatment, except for the Herceptin. I thought of people who might be sitting in the infusion chairs as I was now pulling down light weights, and said a prayer for them. Chemo is hard anytime, but I think it would be especially hard during the holidays. The atmosphere in the physical therapy room was jovial, as many of the PTs had clients cancel on them, and they were eager for conversation. I didn't miss the shark contrasts on this side of the street from the cancer center. The doctors, nurses and staff at SCCA (mostly Cascade Cancer Center while I was getting chemo) are amazing and gracious. The conversation many times was rich and entertaining. But, I also remember times coming in feeling nauseous and weak or seeing others who would barely walk. The chairs were filled with people who were suffering. It doesn't escape me that my appointments this December are for continued healing, not treatment with side effects. I am growing stronger just as my hair is growing longer. It is a busy Christmas this year, but busy for good reasons. Becca's taking driving lessons and has a busy social calendar. Nathan and Ben add to the running around with their activities. I make it a priority to fit in a walk at least six days a week. This year, for the first time in our married lives, we didn't send out a Christmas letter or card. It wasn't because I didn't feel healthy enough, but because I feel too healthy and our lives are jammed full of life. It's a good problem. Actually, the best.
Now it's back to some last minute preparation on the house before our Florida family arrives tomorrow. Explaining to the kids last Sunday when they said they couldn't believe Christmas was this week, I told them that we didn't want to miss Jesus this year. If it doesn't feel like Christmas, remember to spend more time with God. John 1:1 says, "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God." Jesus is the word incarnate, the word in flesh. We celebrate Him, not presents, Santa, snowmen or even cookies. If we don't miss Jesus this Christmas, we won't miss Christmas. Find Jesus and discover the Christmas spirit. That's our goal for the rest of the Christmas season. I'm sure it'll be busy, but full of much love and laughter and life. And Jesus, of course.
