God in Our Midst

Nathan turned 15 this week. On his actual birthday, Monday, he found out he didn't make the golf team. On Friday when he invited a few buddies over to help celebrate his birthday, he came home with a splitting headache. Even though I could tell he was struggling, he soldiered on so his friends would have an enjoyable time. The way he handled this week, how he rolled and never complained, gave me a glimpse of the man he is soon becoming. I have the privilege of cheering him on.

Last week were the tryouts for the high school golf team. He was a bit hesitant, unsure if he wanted to pursue something he was still pretty new at. Yet, he took the step, knowing it was a long shot,
knowing it was a journey outside of his comfort zone. He had a blast. One amazing day on the course solidified a new love for the game. His coach wrote him a warm-hearted letter, thanking him for his effort and respect for the game. He encouraged him to continue to practice and tryout again next season. While some could have left feeling discouraged, Nathan is all the more determined to get better. I admire that in him.

Nathan after his band concert this week

I just checked on him since it is after 1pm and he is still in bed. He has a fever of 102. I offered him some juice. He accepted it with as much appreciation as if I offered him his favorite meal. Anything else I can do for you? Nope, I'm good. He takes no small gesture for granted. He is our middle child. As a middle child myself,  I thought I knew how to manage family dynamics. He is offering me lessons in humility, servanthood, gratefulness.

Since my cancer journey, I've had an opportunity to look at things with new eyes. Each moment is precious. Relationships trump activities. I still have a hard time not panicking if I'm running late, but even that has mellowed a bit as I realize its lack of importance in the whole of life. Life is fragile. It is beautiful. It is daunting and tremulous. This idea that we are parenting teenagers reaks havoc on any sense of control I once thought I had. Their decisions at this age are huge. The consequences are unnerving. Yet, what a privilege it is to walk alongside my kids, to witness their successes and be the soft landing for their struggles. I'm thankful that my disease is at bay so it doesn't steal away from these last precious years as my kids launch into adulthood. Just as my kids' futures are uncertain, so is my health. The only thing that is certain, the one thing I know I can count on, is the love of God who holds this all together.

He knows if Nathan will make the golf team next year. Or if it will even matters. He is in our midst, rejoicing over us with gladness, quieting us by his love. (Zephaniah 3:17) I am currently working through a bible study called Wonder Struck by Margaret Feinberg. Every day I am asked to look for three wonders of God and His handiwork. It has opened my eyes to Him in new ways. Let me encourage you to look for Him in your midst today.