Day 1 of Scan

This morning, after sending off the older two to school and making sure Ben knew what he was supposed to do at home, I drove down to the hospital for the first part of my scan, checked in, flipped through a magazine, and followed the technician through the double doors. The last time I was here, for my MRI, I turned right and walked a long hallway. Today we made a left and immediately I recognized the nuclear medicine room from when I had my lumpectomy surgery. The tech read my chart and saw I had lymph nodes removed in 2012. I mentioned that I had breast cancer, and she sympathized with my now thyroid problem. I appreciated her kindness, but I didn't want to go there. If I let myself, I could easily slip into a puddle of "poor-me's" and "life's unfairs." It's better if I stick to the moment, to lean into God's grace, and trust in His goodness. As I was mentioning this test to people, I was unsure what results I am hoping for. Do I want it to be "hot" and have to figure out how to treat hyperthyroidism? Do I want it to be normal or "cold" and then it'll need to be biopsied? If the pathology report doesn't indicate cancer, will we know for sure we were able to access enough cells to tell? Would it be safer/wiser to have the nodule and that part of my thyroid removed? Would I then have to be on thyroid medication? Is there a chance it can just be "normal," even though the nodules are growing? So many questions, no clear cut answer. All I can do is pray for God's best plan through this.

In my morning trip, all I needed to do is swallow a pill with the iodine. Then I went home to return for a 4 pm scan. At 4:30 they finally called me back. (Typical late-in-the-day appointment.) For the uptake portion of this procedure, all I had to do is rest my thigh against a machine called a probe, which gave a reading of the iodine level. Then I pressed my neck against it, so it could read what my thyroid was doing. After that, I sat in a chair, and waited. Waited. Waited. Then the technician came back and said the scanning machine was stuck and they were hoping to be able to fix it. Would I like to get a coffee or snack while they work on it? I took the coupon they gave me and headed to the coffee shop down the hall and got a chai tea latte. Finally, one of the techs led me back, and I lay on a table, with a round scanning machine encircling my head. The faceplate was lowered inches from my face, as I extended my neck. It wasn't too uncomfortable (much easier than a MRI), but someone who was claustrophobic would have a hard time with it. It took about 30 minutes to take the pictures, and I spent the time praying and thinking on scripture. Finally it was over, and I was released into the rainy rush-hour commute, a few hours later than expected.

Tomorrow, I get to go back at 10 a.m., but just for the uptake portion of the procedure. Once I am called back, it will only take about 5 minutes. Then I make the long trip back home and pray for good news. On top of this thyroid stuff, next Monday I have my fasting blood test, bone scan and mammogram. The following Monday I have my 4-month followup with my oncologist. Not sure how I'm going to manage more appointments, but I'll focus on one day at a time.

Thyroid Uptake Scan Scheduled (Finally)

After waiting on a fax to reach the right department (who uses faxes anymore-besides my endocrinologist's office?), I finally scheduled my scan for the thyroid. Because I ate fish last night, I needed to wait a week before I could have the procedure. So on Monday, September 29th, I will arrive at 9:45 am at the hospital for a scan, then come back again at 4pm for another one. Then on the 30th, I am required to come back in at 10 for a third scan. The scheduler mentioned it would take about an hour on the first day (not sure if that is both times I go in or combined) and about 5 minutes for the second day. That's a lot of driving for such a short time. It reminds me of my daily jaunts for radiation back in the fall of 2012.

Hopefully, after all this driving and time away from my normal schedule, the scan will reveal exactly what our next step is for my thyroid. Prayers for a benign, easy to manage condition would be appreciated. No matter what, I know if God has brought me to this, He'll see me through it.

Another Test

For one blessed day, I was normal. Blood tests all in the correct ranges. No lingering pain anywhere, not even a screening in the near horizon to capture my concerns. Then I went so casually into my endocrinologist's office. He asked me how I thought things were with my thyroid. I mentioned about the elevated CEA and having a blood test for TSH in July which was normal. Okay, we'll try to find the results on that, he says. I told him it was 1.01 if that helps. It does, he answers, although I'm sure he prefers the actual lab results to some over-50 patient's ability to recall the precise number. (Note to self: next time, ask my oncologist's office to forward any blood test results directly to endocrinologist.) I mentioned to him that my thyroid felt larger. He asked if I was having heart palpitations or shortness of breath. Nope. He checked how my eyes tracked his flashlight. Then he had me lay down with my neck bent forward so he could ultrasound my thyroid. I think I have one of the most sensitive necks around, so this is no easy feat. Every time he pressed the wand into my neck, I had to force my mind out of the moment, breathing evenly, trying to think of something, anything rather than than the panic I naturally felt when my neck was being squeezed. (I have a hard time with turtlenecks.) The wand lingered on the left side of my neck, the doctor taking picture after picture. When I was allowed to sit up and wipe the goop from my neck, he said that one of my nodules is definitely bigger. And it has a lot of blood flow.  It seems to be a bit messy, breaking off little pieces. Okay, my mind went directly to: blood flow, breaking off...tumor?? He reassured me that the likelihood of this being metastatic from my breast cancer is slim. In fact, he's never heard of that happening. (Of course, I googled that when I got home, and while this is very rare, if metastasis spreads to the thyroid, it is often from the breast. Okay, rare is good. The link to breast cancer, however slight, not so good.)

My doctor looks at his notes, looks back at me, says we have two options and he's not sure what to do. He already biopsied this nodule and it was benign at the time. He's thinking it is a "hot" nodule, meaning it produces too much thyroid hormone. To avoid unnecessary surgery, he decides that I should undergo a thyroid scan, which uses a small amount of radioactive iodine to trace what the thyroid is doing. Describing the procedure, he says I take a pill, wait a couple of hours, then they scan my thyroid. If it is hot, we figure out how to treat it from going into hyperthyroidism. If it is cold, meaning not producing any hormones, then we'll need to biopsy it again. Hot nodules do not need biopsying. Cold nodules have a 5% chance of being cancerous. When I read that, I thought, the odds are still in my favor that this is a benign condition, even if it is chronic, and hopefully treatable.

It's been a few days and I haven't heard back from the place I'm having the scan (which I have no idea where that is!) I'll check back in with my doctor's office to make sure the paperwork hasn't been misplaced. For one glorious day, I was normal. Now, another test...another doctor...more waiting for results...the show must go on!

Blood Test News

Two days ago, my doctor's office left me a message to say that my tumor markers were all normal. Normal? Did that mean stable or actually normal? I didn't want to bother the nurse with a call to find out the exact numbers since I knew I could access the results online through EvergreenHealth. This morning they finally posted the numbers. 2.3 for my CEA marker! You probably remember that anything over 3.0 is high. My numbers dropped over a point (from 3.5) in these two months! All my other marker tests are well below normal. Praise God!

I think that, with an uneducated guess, I was having constipation-related problems in my colon which produced the marker. When I met with the nurse practitioner before my colonoscopy, she  suggested I add water-soluble fiber to my diet. I protested that my diet consists chiefly of nuts, seeds, fresh fruit, vegetables and other high-fiber foods. She countered that sometimes our bodies need a different kind of fiber to do the work, so I tried the most natural, non-sugary fiber powder I could find. My bowels have been very happy ever since. They did have a few days of trouble when I had to take out all high-fiber foods and supplements from my diet, but once the colonoscopy was over, everything has been going smoothly (pun intended) since then. So, while the colonoscopy was not in itself a necessary torture that I endured, it did produce the results we needed in a round about way: normal CEA marker.

Tomorrow I go in to have my thyroid checked. Another day. Another doctor.... At least for now I can celebrate good news!

First Day of School

I sat on the porch as Nathan and a couple friends (one new as of this morning!) set out on a morning stroll up to the high school for their first day of classes. My first thought: they better pick up the pace or they'll be late! Of course, they had plenty of time, but it was just my mommy instinct kicking in. It was all I could do to walk back into the house and not follow them discreetly up the hill. Only the freshman report to school today, so Becca and Ben have one last day to sleep in. Becca will go up tomorrow for her start of her sophomore year, and Ben will start his first day of writing/lit and science co-op classes. Usually my first day of school (the co-op days where we left home) was wrought with packing lunches and piling books for me to work on work on along with encouraging the kids to make sure they have everything they needed for the day. Today, I fluttered around the kitchen, making sure Nathan's lunch was ready for him to grab, asking Nathan what he'd like for breakfast, discovering the eggs I thought were in the fridge were used to make my birthday cake and adapting to a bagel with just ham and cheese... When that was finished, I wandered around, started a load of laundry, cleaned the top of our refrigerator in preparation of the repairman's arrival sometime this morning, fed Sugar, and paced. I think Nathan (wisely!) retreated to his room for a few moments of quiet. Then I took the obligatory (and my first one outside the door!) first day of school picture.

We sat on the porch, I prayed for him, and waited to leave. Soon he was heading down the street, beginning his 9th grade year.

 I wonder if  he would be off to school without me if it wasn't for this cancer journey I've been on. I don't think of it often, but in the back of my mind, a niggling question of whether I'm truly cancer-free lingers. As far as we know, I don't have any cancer growing undetected in my body. But I could. I don't dwell on it, but the thought is there. When it shows itself, I immediately bring it captive and give it to God. But, in my most rational times, I have wondered if another battle is on the horizon and how would that look to home school two high schoolers during it. If that was the only reason for sending the older two to public school, I would wonder if that response is drenched in fear. I fully believe that the kids will have more opportunity to learn and grow on their own at the school. It will be a challenging year for all of us, but in and through that, we will all grow. Do I still want to be a fly on the wall and see what they are doing today? YES (in capital letters!) I'm so used to being involved in his day. In some ways, I'm like the mom of the kindergartener who sends her kid to school for the first day, sad that the long days of hanging together are over. I'm also excited for all the things that the kids will experience this year. One day at a time, slogging our way through the changes and bumps.

What do I have in store this month regarding doctor appointments? On Friday, I go in for a blood draw. Of course, she'll be looking at all my tumor markers, including the one troublesome one. As long as it is stable, though, even if it is elevated above normal, I will not worry. I'm holding onto the thought the GI doctor gave me that this could be my body's normal range. On September 11th, I see my endocrinologist. My thyroid seems to have grown, so I'm sure an ultrasound will be called for, maybe even a biopsy. It will be good to have a conversation with him about his thoughts on whether my elevated tumor marker might be connected with the thyroid. Hopefully, if these two tests are within normal ranges, that'll be all for doctor appointments this month. My days will be full enough of school, football games, soccer,baseball and band.

And, if you are one of my family or friends who might want to email, call or text during the Seahawks-Packers game on Thursday, because of the above mentioned activities--plus Walt working late---we will be DVRing the game late.... So don't spoil our fun!!!