One Year Ago Today

On this day a year ago, I started this blog. One year ago today, I was recovering from my re-excision surgery. One year ago today, I was waiting on test results before proceeding onto chemo (hopefully) and not more surgery. A year ago, I was restless to start treatment, not because I was eager for chemo, but I was ready to begin the battle. Plus, the sooner it would start, the sooner it all would be over.

Today, a year later, I am waiting for a test result of a different kind. Had I known of this potential genetic link to my grandmother last year, I would have had this test done then. If I found out I was positive, I would have gone along a different, more difficult road of surgery prior to chemo. It would have meant a mastectomy but probably not radiation. A major surgery with a lot longer recovery time before chemo, but the end of my treatment wouldn't have included seven weeks of daily trips to the hospital, getting radiation that might be unnecessary.

Now, if I find out I'm positive for this faulty gene, I will have the additional surgeries, despite having gone the path of lumpectomy and radiation the first time. How do I feel about all this? I try not to dwell on it. It is what it is. I made my decision using the best information I had at the time. Like last year, my family is praying that the results are negative. Unlike last year, my siblings will be directly affected if the test comes out positive, as they would have a 50% chance of also having the faulty gene. My kids, too...

Yet, I also know that God has a plan. He has seen me through every step of this journey. When I am afraid, I will turn to Him. I will continue to:

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good;
    his love endures forever.  Psalm 118:1

When I focus on praising God, no matter what, my fear disappears. It is a lesson I've learned through this year. Each day God gives me just enough to handle whatever comes my way. God is in this moment, right where I need to be. Waiting, but waiting with God.

BRCA Testing

Today was  my second to the last Herceptin appointment. I also had a blood draw. For some reason, my white count was low...well, I think it was the same as it was the last time I had it drawn, but it should have improved. My oncologist was on vacation (which is a rare event for her), so I met with a nurse practitioner, Lynley Fow. She burst into the room, darted out to get some soap because the dispenser was empty in the room, mentioned she had a fleck of mascara underneath her contacts that was bugging her, commented that she kept getting texts from Dr. Kohn when she should be enjoying her vacation, and then said something about my blood count being low and was I feeling okay. I told her that I was feeling fine, wasn't too overly tired, so she shrugged and said it probably wasn't anything. My head was spinning a bit and I forgot to ask her for a copy of my counts, but I'm confident that if it is disconcerting, my oncologist will be on top of it when she returns from her vacation. Lynley then checked my records and mentioned how I was almost done with Herceptin, and I told her I was happy about this but also a bit nervous. She reminded me that I would still be seeing the doctor every three months for the next few years and would still have Tamoxifin working for me, so I wouldn't be totally cut loose. 

I then mentioned that I had discovered some information on my family medical history that I wanted to discuss. A couple of years ago, my sister Patty had a tumor on her ovary that was not cancerous but was "borderline." Her gynecologist, after finding out about my breast cancer diagnosis, mentioned to Patty that we  should get genetic testing.  At first, I was resistant to believing we could have this hereditary link. She then reminded me of our grandmother, my dad's mom, who died of cancer at 44. My dad was a teenager so, of course, we never met her. Plus, we were told she died of stomach cancer. Seventy years ago when she died, the medical world didn't have the testing they do today on cancer. By the time she was treated, cancer had spread all throughout her stomach. It could have been ovarian cancer that spread. We won't know for sure. The nurse practitioner agreed that genetic testing should be looked into. She checked the requirements from my insurance on getting the test, and if my grandmother had ovarian cancer and with my cancer diagnosis at age 50, I would qualify to have insurance pay for the $3800 BRCA 1 and 2 test. So, I had three more vials of blood drawn and will know in a week or two the results.

Even though I qualified to have this test, I have a 10% chance of having this faulty gene. The faulty gene, which is passed down from parent to child, increases a person's risk of developing ovarian, breast, pancreatic and prostrate cancers. If I have this gene, my breast cancer risk increases from under 10% now to up to 87%. With this gene mutation, my risk of ovarian cancer increases from less than 1% to 44%. This has hit the news recently when Angelina Jolie revealed she tested positive for the BRCA 1 gene. The reason I believe it is important to authorize this test is to plan further steps in decreasing my risk. Yup, that'll probably mean  more surgery. However, more than just me, I also feel it is important to know if we have this genetic link for my kids and my siblings. If I have the BRCA gene mutation, then my sisters and brother would have 50% chance of having it, too. And so would my children.  

My prayer is that God  would be gracious on us and our family and that my test would come back negative. I'd appreciate your prayers on this, too. 

Anniversary Musings...

I've just passed a lot of "anniversaries" while I live life on this side of treatment. Even though I didn't blog about them all, every day I would think back a year ago and what I was facing. 

Today I had to be at the hospital at 7:30 a.m. for my MRI biopsy. 

Today I met my oncologist for the first time... and the second time, and she ran late and we had to call in the help of friends to get the boys to their baseball games.

Received good news on the other pathology reports so I scheduled my surgery. Then there was the second surgery because the margins weren't big enough...

The first meeting with my naturopath...

So many appointments, lots of recovery, lots of information and blessings.Spring was a whirlwind of obstacles last year, but it wasn't nearly as difficult as the summer.  As I think about my days, these days, I love that I am going to the beach for a field trip with Ben's class...cheering on the sidelines for the boys games... encouraging Becca to use better words in her essays...laughing with her about her day at the barn...enjoying the simple life of being here for my family. Today I taught Ben's class at our co-op. He came up to me later and said, "You did a good job today." That's what it's all about... living the life God has given me with the kids He has blessed us with... Nothing better than that!