Waiting on test results is one of the hardest things a cancer survivor endures. The last time I had a blood test, two months ago, one of my tumor marker indicators was .10 out of the normal range. For two months, I pushed aside worries and concern, determined to trust God and enjoy Christmas. January 3rd lurked, and as it approached, I relied more and more on time with God to keep from worrying. Tumor markers pick up a protein that is given off by cancerous cells, usually before any symptoms develop. The downside of this blood test is sometimes benign, noncancerous causes can cause an elevated score. Doctors look for trends or jumps in the score to determine the need for further screening (bone scans, CAT scans, that sort of thing.)My oncologist tried to be neutral about this small elevation in my score in November, but she wanted to stay on top of it by retesting in two months. That date was last Friday. I would have the weekend to wait for the result. Yesterday, every time the phone rang, my heart raced. The call I hoped for yet feared never came.
Coming home from my physical therapy appointment today, I noticed the flashing light on the answer machine. The cheery voice of Dr. Kohn's nurse chirped the news that my blood test was normal. Normal!! No further testing. No waiting to retest. No questions. Normal is a wonderful thing. Even though I tried not to worry, the sweet lightness of good news set my emotions free. Immediately, I called Walt and he, too, mentioned a bit of nerves when I uttered the words, "results of my blood test." We both enjoyed the relief and joy that good news brings. We are incredibly thankful to our merciful God.
Regarding my shoulder, I've been making steady progress. My physical therapist is able to work through a lot of the stiffness through stretching and strengthening exercise, but he admits that some will remain for a while, with time and consistent stretching the only remedy. Unfortunately, I still experience spasms when I jerk my arm (like when I slipped on the ice last week) or lean on it wrong, but that's because all the muscles and ligaments are still healing. I bought a foam roller and an over-the-door shoulder pulley to use at home. The pain I had in my back is almost all gone, but when it aches (like when I'm on my feet too long), stretching on the foam roller works wonders. The shoulder pulley helps stretch my stiff muscles, and I've increased my range of motion. Thankfully, my neck is no longer sore at night. I've scheduled three more appointments with my PT to ensure as much progress as possible, and then the rest of the healing will be through faithfully exercising and stretching on my own. I'm looking forward to seeing how much better my golf drives and tennis backhands will be with my shoulder working properly. PT takes time, but it's been worth it.
The kids have jumped back into their regular school schedule and activities, our home is back to normal, and I've almost finished grading essays from December. Between Christmas, prepping the house, and the busyness of having a house full of guests--not to mention watching as many Christmas movies as possible--I couldn't carve out a stretch of time for concentrated focus on the papers. With renewed energy, I got through a ton of grading yesterday. Usually January is a hard month, but so far it's been good. I am sad that Christmas is over, but normal is a good feeling.
Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good;
his love endures forever. Psalm 118:1
