First Day of School

I sat on the porch as Nathan and a couple friends (one new as of this morning!) set out on a morning stroll up to the high school for their first day of classes. My first thought: they better pick up the pace or they'll be late! Of course, they had plenty of time, but it was just my mommy instinct kicking in. It was all I could do to walk back into the house and not follow them discreetly up the hill. Only the freshman report to school today, so Becca and Ben have one last day to sleep in. Becca will go up tomorrow for her start of her sophomore year, and Ben will start his first day of writing/lit and science co-op classes. Usually my first day of school (the co-op days where we left home) was wrought with packing lunches and piling books for me to work on work on along with encouraging the kids to make sure they have everything they needed for the day. Today, I fluttered around the kitchen, making sure Nathan's lunch was ready for him to grab, asking Nathan what he'd like for breakfast, discovering the eggs I thought were in the fridge were used to make my birthday cake and adapting to a bagel with just ham and cheese... When that was finished, I wandered around, started a load of laundry, cleaned the top of our refrigerator in preparation of the repairman's arrival sometime this morning, fed Sugar, and paced. I think Nathan (wisely!) retreated to his room for a few moments of quiet. Then I took the obligatory (and my first one outside the door!) first day of school picture.

We sat on the porch, I prayed for him, and waited to leave. Soon he was heading down the street, beginning his 9th grade year.

 I wonder if  he would be off to school without me if it wasn't for this cancer journey I've been on. I don't think of it often, but in the back of my mind, a niggling question of whether I'm truly cancer-free lingers. As far as we know, I don't have any cancer growing undetected in my body. But I could. I don't dwell on it, but the thought is there. When it shows itself, I immediately bring it captive and give it to God. But, in my most rational times, I have wondered if another battle is on the horizon and how would that look to home school two high schoolers during it. If that was the only reason for sending the older two to public school, I would wonder if that response is drenched in fear. I fully believe that the kids will have more opportunity to learn and grow on their own at the school. It will be a challenging year for all of us, but in and through that, we will all grow. Do I still want to be a fly on the wall and see what they are doing today? YES (in capital letters!) I'm so used to being involved in his day. In some ways, I'm like the mom of the kindergartener who sends her kid to school for the first day, sad that the long days of hanging together are over. I'm also excited for all the things that the kids will experience this year. One day at a time, slogging our way through the changes and bumps.

What do I have in store this month regarding doctor appointments? On Friday, I go in for a blood draw. Of course, she'll be looking at all my tumor markers, including the one troublesome one. As long as it is stable, though, even if it is elevated above normal, I will not worry. I'm holding onto the thought the GI doctor gave me that this could be my body's normal range. On September 11th, I see my endocrinologist. My thyroid seems to have grown, so I'm sure an ultrasound will be called for, maybe even a biopsy. It will be good to have a conversation with him about his thoughts on whether my elevated tumor marker might be connected with the thyroid. Hopefully, if these two tests are within normal ranges, that'll be all for doctor appointments this month. My days will be full enough of school, football games, soccer,baseball and band.

And, if you are one of my family or friends who might want to email, call or text during the Seahawks-Packers game on Thursday, because of the above mentioned activities--plus Walt working late---we will be DVRing the game late.... So don't spoil our fun!!!