Five Years!

Five years ago, we were in the midst of homeschooling, Little League schedules, horseback riding lessons--just normal life with a 13, 12 and 10 year old. My calendar was filled with games, lessons, co-op classes, and errands. Nothing special but all significant parts of the life I loved.

Then a phone call changed everything. "You have cancer," the doctor said. After my biopsy, it wasn't exactly unexpected, but they were still words I had a hard time connecting to me. No one expects to hear those words. It took some time before I could share them with anyone else.

Suddenly, some of the baseball practices and games were handled by caring friends who wanted to help. Many of the "important" things on my to-do lists were set aside as I made new appointments with doctors and hospital radiology.  While this was a surprise to me, it wasn't a surprise to God who prepared help along the way.

If you asked me before the diagnosis how all the appointments and procedures and recovery would fit, I would have told you there's no way. But they did. Sometimes we had to drop things. So many times we leaned on the kindness of our friends to fill in the gap. Yet, my kids got to do kid things, we uncluttered some of the nonessentials, and we rarely dropped the ball on the absolutely necessary things. (Yet chemo brain was also in effect so maybe I'm not remembering everything clearly.)

No matter what, we survived.

Five years is kind of a big milestone in the cancer world. When I was reading stats about my diagnosis when I first entered this new world, all of them talked about five-year survival rates. At first, my stomach dropped and I thought after the five years it got worse. Of course, it is actually the opposite. Then my doctor explained that the statistic is based on treatment that started five years ago, and what is showing 88% now is more likely to be 90% or better because of the advancement in research. Doctors enjoy spreading hope when they can, since they also see the worst prognoses, so my radiation oncologist often stated the statistic and how I can contribute to being in the 90% group (exercise, diet, limit alcohol and add vitamin D).  My oncologist, on the other hand, would tell me in more general terms, that she feels confident that the treatment worked, that she feels more hopeful since the advancement of Herceptin that my cancer will not come back.

I'll feel better after my appointment with my new oncologist in May, after another round of blood tests and questions. Remember six months ago when I said I was passed off because my case was so "boring"?  I'm praying for more boring, more of the 90%, but mostly, more trust that no matter what, God is not surprised and will be there through it all.

That phone call that set this all in motion was five years ago on April 19th.

Last week, I expected a different phone call, a call about a job. For the first time in over 20 years, I interviewed for a job. It's a part-time position in the library. A year ago, I took a group of middle school homeschoolers to the library to learn about research and all the resources available to them. That day I thought to myself, I'd like to work here someday. After months of searching the library website waiting for a part time opening that I felt qualified for, I applied for a Public Assistant position.  I  interviewed last Thursday.

On April 19th, exactly five years after the cancer phone call, the library supervisor left a message on my phone to call her back. I couldn't reach her until the next day, but she offered me the job!

I love how God brought me full circle, from wondering if I would survive five years to finding myself exactly five years later moving on with my life, beginning a job that I feel is the perfect fit for my interests and experience.

Only God could see that five years ago.

My mind is swirling with how I'm going to handle Ben starting driver's ed in a week (thankful for friends to share the carpool again), how we are going to work out the car situation between the kids' activities and how many doctor and dentist appointments I'll need to rearrange. Yet, I know, that with God's help, we'll figure it out. It is nowhere near as complicated as we went through five years ago.

During the same week I start my new job, I'll meet with my new oncologist (since I don't have my schedule yet, I have no idea if I'll have to reschedule that appointment or not.)  I also have other things on the calendar, like graduation teas and family visiting, and since it's only three days a week, I'm hoping God will coordinate all the details.

As I was waiting to hear about the job and wondering if the timing was right, I ran into this verse: 

"This God--his way is perfect; the word of the Lord proves true; he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him." (Psalm 18:30)

I prayed that God would shield me from anything outside his will, that I would rather be disappointed that I didn't get the job than get it when He wasn't behind it.

Knowing God worked out the timing of this job, I will rest that He will take care of the schedule, too. As He has always done. And always will. 

Our God is in heaven. He does what He pleases." (Psalm 115:3) And He pleases to work all things out for the good... (Romans 8:28)

Pi Day Recipe

Since being diagnosed with cancer, I've tried eating cleaner, greener, healthier...all the buzzwords that represent the way we are supposed to eat these days. The bottom line, I just want to decrease chemicals and high fructose corn syrup and gmos and processed foods while increasing whole foods in my diet. In other words, I buy the ingredients to make soup instead of opening up a can. I mix up olive oil and vinegar, maybe some dijon and honey and create my own salad dressing instead of buying one with words I can't pronounce.

I am far from perfect on any of this. I've noticed my diet slipping into convenience and mindless eating lately. So, in light of my refocus on healthier eating, I will from time to time blog about a recipe I attempted for dinner. I know this is a common struggle, the "what's for dinner" daily torture, so maybe my recipes may help some of you.

Probably not. But, I'm going to try anyway. The pictures aren't going to be Pioneer Woman quality since I used my handy Iphone 5, but it's the thought that counts, right?

Yesterday was March 14th or otherwise known as pi day (3.14... get it?) or better yet, pie day! I decided to makeover the Impossibly Easy Chicken Pot Pie recipe from Bisquick. This is a simple recipe--open up a can of cream of chicken soup, add frozen veggies, mix up some Bisquick, milk and an egg and bake it for 30 minutes.

Of course, my goal was to make it a tad more healthier and forgo a bit of chemicals and processed foods.  The ingredients for cream of chicken soup include modified food starch (this is an all-encompassing term which makes me wonder, what food is the starch from and how is it modified?), soy protein (a food my naturopath advised me to avoid because of my estrogen positive cancer), and MSG ( a flavor additive in processed food with controversial health concerns). By mixing up a few ingredients that I've selected myself, I can avoid all of this in my food.

If you haven't made a "cream-of" soup before, it is quite simple. There are many recipes online for this. All I do is take 3 tablespoons of olive oil or butter (most times I use olive oil, but last night I mixed in a bit of butter) and 3 tablespoons of flour (check your labels to make sure it's not bleached or enriched if you want to avoid more additives). I then whisked it smooth as it heated. Then I added 1/2 cup of chicken broth and  1/2 cup milk (any kind will do; I used organic non-fat milk), whisking constantly as it simmers for about 2-3 minutes. You'll notice the sauce will start to thicken. I like to use lots of spices when I cook, not only for the added flavor but the nutritional benefits, too. I added about a teaspoon each of garlic, thyme, onion powder and turmeric, and seasoned with salt and pepper to taste. Turmeric is a healthy anti-inflammatory and turns whatever you add it to golden yellow. I use it often in soups and sauces.

Since I doubled the recipe, the sauce didn't fit back into the measuring cup, so I added the rest to the pie plates.

I rinsed out the pan and sauteed about 1/4 cup of onions. If I had to do it again, I would have sauteed the onions first. Then I realized I needed to cook the frozen chicken, so I emptied out the onions from the pan into the pie plates, threw in the chicken, added enough water to cover the bottom, sprinkled on a bit of salt and garlic, and simmered with the lid on while I worked on the topping.

Because I didn't remove all the sauce when I sauteed the onions, it burnt to the side of the pan. I was hoping it would add a flavor component to the chicken, just like the chefs say on TV.

Here again is a place where I had to decide if I was going to make this meal using entirely whole ingredients or take a shortcut. If I had allowed for more time,  I would have googled how to make a Bisquick-like mix. Some days, even the thought of searching through Google was more than I wanted to do. (We can blame Daylight Savings Time on my afternoon energy crashes this week.)

So, I chose to use this instead:

 It's not perfect because it has enriched flour as its first ingredient, but after that, all the ingredients are recognizable (i.e. Whole Wheat Flour, Rolled Oats, Yellow Cornmeal, Wheat Bran, Oat Bran, Sugar, Salt).  Bisquick uses only enriched white flour (which is why the mix is so white), and then adds partially hydrogenated soybean and/or cottonseed oil (which contain trans fats, the worst kind of fat you can consume) and dextrose (a modified sweetener often used in processed foods). The Trader Joe's version has sugar listed low on the ingredient list, but even this could have been left out if I made this myself.

The multigrains in the Trader Joe's version were a plus, something I would not have accomplished entirely from things I had on hand. Yet using whole wheat flour or another whole grain flour to make this mix without any added sugar would have just taken these four ingredients.  Next time.

To make the dough, I used 1 cup of mix, 1 egg and 1/2 cup milk and stirred it up until most of the lumps were gone.

Now that the chicken was cooked, I cut it up into small pieces and added it to the pie plates, along with as many frozen and fresh vegetables as I could fit in (broccoli, peas, carrots, corn, green beans), and then stirred in the sauce and onions. I gently placed the dough on top, trying to cover as much of the surface area as possible. I had a bit of sauce left over, so I poured it onto the crust at the end. I'm pretty sure this could have ruined the entire dish, but I was in a daring mood.

I put it into a 400 degree oven for 30 minutes. I filled up the small pie pans too full and some of the sauce bubbled over. Next time, I'll make this in a deeper casserole dish, but last night only a pie would do, because of course, it was Pi day.

So, here it is out of the oven. It's not fancy. The whole grains makes it look less appealing than the white flour which turns golden brown when baked. I'll call it rustic. It smelled wonderful.

We ate in shifts last night because of various activities and one kid sick, but no one complained about the taste. (Which is sort of like a compliment, right?) Actually, Nathan said it was good and went for a second piece.

 Becca was excited to eat when she came home, but was confused why the pot pie looked like it was untouched. (The other dish was empty and in the sink soaking). Finally, Ben woke up from his nap because a cold has been dragging him down, but even though he was hungry, he wasn't sure if he'd like it. I spotted him having a second serving when he didn't know I was looking.

The original recipe makes four generous pieces, of which my boys had two. So, if you have teenagers or more than four to feed, plan on doubling the recipe, which is what I do automatically these days.

Here is a copy of the recipe in an easier-to-read format.

Chicken Pot Pie
serves 4

1/4 cup onions
3 TB butter or olive oil
3 TB Flour (whole wheat, multi-grained preferred)
Various spices (onion powder, garlic, tumeric, thyme), 1 tsp each
Salt and Pepper to taste
1/2 cup chicken broth
1/2 cup milk (your choice)
1 cup cooked chicken, cut into small pieces
about 2 cups of frozen and/or fresh vegetables
1 cup baking mix (homemade is best)
1/2 cup milk
1 egg

Preheat oven to 400°
1.Saute onions in a small amount of olive oil until brown. Remove from pan.

2. Heat 3 tablespoons of olive oil or butter over medium-high heat. Add 3 tablespoons of flour and whisk until smooth. Add 1/2 cup of chicken broth while whisking, and slowly add 1/2 cup milk. Turn down heat and whisk constantly as it simmers and starts to thicken, about 2-3 minutes. Add spices, salt and pepper. Pour sauce into pie plate with the vegetables, onions and cooked chicken. Stir.

3.Mix up 1 cup baking mix, 1 cup milk and egg, stirring until most of the lumps are removed. Pour over top of vegetables and chicken, gently spreading to edges.

4. Bake at 400 degrees for 30 minutes.