Never-to-be-forgotten Summer

All in all, it was a never-to-be-forgotten summer — one of those summers which come seldom into any life, but leave a rich heritage of beautiful memories in their going — one of those summers which, in a fortunate combination of delightful weather, delightful friends and delightful doing, come as near to perfection as anything can come in this world.” ― L.M. Montgomery, Anne's House of Dreams

“Summer afternoon — summer afternoon; to me those have always been the two most beautiful words in the English language.”

—Henry James

I'm sitting on my porch, dog by my side, a dragonfly flitting over the rhodies, a plane leaving a white trail in the mostly blue sky. I hear the occasional squeals of happy neighbor children, but it's mostly quiet as my own are gone on adventures of their own. This is one of the rare open summer afternoons of this summer. I was determined to use my free hours wisely, but then I taste the sweetness of one of the last lazy afternoons left of summer, and I give myself permission to just be. Well, I open the laptop, and inspired by not having to write, to not having to do anything, the words flow freely.

First, I need to share this picture with you. It's from Nathan's blog when he was nine. He actually started it when he was eight, hence the name, http://adventuresofaneightyearold.blogspot.com .

If you have a chance, read through the few postings he wrote because they are just beyond precious. This now 15 year old is trecking the Pacific Coast Trail with a few other scouts, carrying all he needs on his strong and tall body, living in the wilderness for five days, covering 50 miles with his own boot-covered feet. I'm eager to hear of the adventures when I pick him up on Saturday, but until then, let me share with you this picture:

Oh, I forgot to tell you it also includes a shot of our dear friend Abby. This was at Lincoln Rock during our camping trip in 2009, where Nathan water skied for the first time,  and we made memories of soaking up the sun, boating on the river, and enjoying great fun around a campfire with close friends. I miss those simpler days. While in the midst of parenting young kids, I had no idea they would be considered simpler. Now, my kids are older, have jobs and responsibilities, are so busy that a weekend trip is almost impossible.  I wish for those earlier days, but at the same time, I am so proud of my kids and the growing they did this summer. 

Instead of meeting friends at a park or at the beach, as we did in their younger years, I've spent most of my summer in a car, driving the kids to their activities. Nathan finished drivers ed this summer, went to boy scout camp as the troop's Senior Patrol leader (and navigated the leadership responsibilities expertly), spent a week each at church camp and band camp, and now, capping off this busy summer, he is hiking 50 miles. 

Becca, too, had a summer of growth and adventure. She found a job working in a law office, which is an amazing first job for anyone. The experience and working environment is wonderful, with the only downside being its  location. Three days a week I drive Becca to and from the office in north Seattle, navigating about 90 minutes of rush hour traffic,  but grasping onto the opportunity to have my now 17 year old to myself for those hours. In the midst of brake lights and merging lanes, I enjoy discovering more things about her. Our conversations have been the silver lining in our tough commute this summer. When she isn't working at her law office job, she works at her horse barn to help pay for lessons. In the midst of all this work, she has gone to two amazing camps which included activities like cliff jumping, tubing, cave spelunking, rock climbing, whitewater rafting, hiking, and above all, growing closer to God.

Becca, her friend and group leader rock climbing

This will probably go down as a summer to remember for both of my older kids. While Ben has had a much quieter summer, it has not been without some growing, too. He spent about a month at a daily tennis camp run by the high school tennis coach, meeting new friends and developing strong court skills. Ben and I find ourselves often playing tennis, laughing and challenging each other.

Ben at tennis camp, last man standing

During his time at our church's summer camp, he experienced the ups and downs of getting sick. In the early  morning hours of his second day at camp, he urgently made his way to the bathroom. After his second trip, his friend Colton  noticed and encouraged him to go see the camp nurse. We received a phone call that morning that Ben had been throwing up, so Walt and I immediately left our treasured time away together to go be with our son. Two and a half hours later, we found Ben sitting in the shade in the nurse's tent, surrounded by his good buddies, Colton and Estif. If junior high boys can be any more supportive of each other, I can't imagine. After spending a bit of time in camp with Ben, checking to see if whatever he had might pass quickly, we decided that Ben would benefit from at least one night at home.

Estif and Colton saying goodbye to Ben

Fortunately, after a good night's sleep in his own bed, a shower and some comfort food, Ben was ready to return to camp. Another two hour trip south and a quick hi to Becca and Nathan (it was Becca's 17th birthday), Walt and I were finally able to return to our little getaway. The time away was fun, made all the more precious by the reminder of what is really important in our life. These kids will be home with us only a few more years, and it is an honor to watch them grow into the adults that God intended them to be. Ben experienced the bonds of a strong friendship, that two 13 year old boys would forgo some of the fun to help pack up his stuff and stand by him while he wasn't feeling well. These two friends were one of the firsts to welcome him back to camp with huge grins. What a great thing to discover amidst the pain and disappointment. 

This summer has been unlike any I've experienced so far as a parent.  My kids are making great choices, are growing, are becoming more independent. Yet, when they are sick, or discouraged, or need to hear that they've done well, it's us, their mom and dad, who get to fill that void. There's no better role in life to have. Without being too overly dramatic, I feel led to add that my cancer journey has seasoned my role as a mother with a greater sense of awe, of thankfulness, of priority.  I heard news of a fellow homeschooling mom, a lady I spoke with once but who was part of the same co-op, who finished her race with cancer this summer, going to her eternal home, leaving her family behind. Hearing this news was a reminder to me that this time is sacred. Nothing is to be taken for granted. 

As the days of summer wind down, this glorious summer afternoon spent writing on the porch will be hard to come by again, I am thankful for the chance to recognize how even this is important. That each conversation, each word of praise, each instruction spoken from my mouth begins the beginning of the end. The kids will grow up and leave the home. Walt and I will be empty nesters. We will cheer from the sidelines as they continue to lead their lives. At least, that's the hope. With a cancer diagnosis, there is always the fear that things aren't going to work out that way. That's why I don't dwell on the fear but I relish in the now. The summer breeze, the quiet, the joy of today, the trust in God's plan. I hope this is a "never-to-be-forgotten summer" for me, too, and the same for the fall, and the winter, and every season I have the opportunity to live.