A Full October

It snuck up on me this time. A few days ago I was checking my calendar for what my next week looked like, and saw this:

The start of my six-month cancer screenings are tomorrow. I guess it's a good thing that it snuck up on me. It means I'm living life and not waiting out cancer. It means I'm living in the present and not worried about tomorrow. It means I'm trusting God and not concerned about these tests. It also means my life is full of living, and since this is my first time going six-months between appointments, I have chosen to live it to it's fullest.

I knew it was coming up soon since I went into my endocrinologist last week and I see him every six months, too. I've actually scheduled my primary care doctor visit next week, deciding to bunch up my appointments.  Then the following week I meet with my oncologist and discuss the results of the blood test, dexa scan (for bone density) and mammogram.  I'll probably know the results of my mammogram because I usually need to wait around for them. Yet, I may not, since this will be my first "screening" mammo since my diagnosis in 2012. Up to this point, I've had a diagnostic mammogram, where the doctor is shown my films while I wait, making sure no suspicious spots have appeared. Six months ago, you may have remembered me posting this:

This was my report after my last mammogram, and instead of being considered "probably benign," I moved into the "benign" category. So, tomorrow I'll find out if that means I get sent home like most women and wait for the results to come in the mail, or if I'm sent back to the waiting room for a cup of tea until a doctor has a chance to read the films and report back to me.

October, since it's also called Breast Cancer Awareness month, is full of mixed emotions to me. I decided to channel those into an article and see if I can get it published. Many of you know that last week it was indeed published on the Everyday Health website. Here is a link to my article if you haven't read it yet:

Why We Need to Rethink Pink

It's been a fast-moving month. Ben has had a great tennis season and seems to be adapting to high school, not without some bumps and bruises, but every day is a bit easier for him. Becca and Nathan are busy in their Senior and Junior years, taking challenging courses, deciding on colleges. I released my responsibilities as a homeschooling mom to more concentrated time writing, exploring possible part time jobs and tackling a few more household projects. I'm also in two bible studies, where I've loved digging into God's word and connecting with more women. I'm trying not to say yes to just anything that comes my way, waiting to see what God is leading me to do.

I was chatting with a friend the other day, mentioning how busy life is, when she said a friend of hers chooses to say, "My life is full with things I choose to fill it with." Doesn't that sound much better than "busy?" Busy has a bit of a negative bent to it, while a "full life" seems more positive.

And why not choose fullness over busyness? After all, Jesus didn't give us a busy life, but in John 10:10, He said, "I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."

Sometimes you have to go through a mountain of pain, hurt or sorrow to get to the full. Whether you are standing before the mountain, in the middle of the torturous climb, or maybe seeing the top, God's going to see you through.