She was cousin to Priscilla Shirer, one of my favorite bible study teachers. I heard her on podcasts. She loved God and her family and wrote for young girls.
It was utterly unexpected. One moment she is doing normal mom things, and the next she is in the presence of Jesus.
I don't know the details of what happened, but what I understand is she passed away in her sleep. Sudden loss. Profound pain.
I searched her Instagram account for any other information. All over, she has hashtags, #sayyestoGod.
Say yes to God even if we don't understand. Say yes to God even in the biggest hurt and confusion. Say yes to God because we know He is a big God.
Her other hashtag she used often was #sheisyours. Her ministry was to point young girls to God. She had four beautiful girls and she gave them back to God. Her death was unexpected and swift, but if she had warning, she would have given her fears of leaving her girls behind at God's feet. They are His, first and foremost.
When I was first diagnosed with cancer, my concern for my kids was my deepest fear. I knew where I was going if I died, but who would be their mom?
I never will understand God taking away a mom from her kids. Sometimes, with our hardest questions, we won't know the why, but we can look for the who God says He is in the midst. He is Father. Comforter. Provider. Immanuel God, God with us in the middle of the pain.
Today. We aren't guaranteed tomorrow. I spent today with Ben. We went to Bellevue to watch a couple of friends perform in a play. We stopped during the long commute home in rush hour for pizza. I love building in this memory. He'll be a junior next year. That means in a minute he'll be a senior. And then, well you all know how fast these high school days go.
I've already dropped off Becca for her second year in college. Walt had to stay back to help Nathan with orientation at the UW. Even though it was just the two of us, it was so much easier than last year. Three bags from home, a trip to the storage unit, a parking spot right in front of her dorm because hardly anyone else was moving in at the time. She had leadership meetings during the day, so we shopped at night. I got to hang out with my cousin who offered her home for me to stay, visited my dad, and spent time in one of the coolest libraries around, located in Old Town Scottsdale.
The goodbye was easier, too. She is where she is supposed to be. Becca's absence here feels normal. Of course we miss her, but we are excited to see what God has in store for her this year.
Nathan has about a month left before we move him to the UW. Last night I talked him into taking a walk with me. No expectations to clean anything or follow up on something or finish his thank you cards. We just walked and chatted. The sun, because of the smoke from the wildfires in Canada, was a unique shade of red as it lowered itself for the evening, and the cool breezes blew away the heat of the day. It was the perfect ending to a summer day, as I count down our time with him at home.
These are the things that are important. Today with my people. Feeding into my kids when I have a chance. Breathing in deeply, trusting God with my expectations.
#theyareyours
#bigGod
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