Jesus is Enough

Home from my second to the last chemo treatment. I'm starting to feel tired, but not nauseous.yet, thanks to anti-nausea meds through the IV. The best news is the result from my echo last week revealed that my heart hasn't shown any negative effect from the Herceptin. Praise God!! My doctor also thinks that since my neuropathy (numbness in my fingers) gets better with time, that the long term effects will be minimal, if any. She thinks the cumulative effect will take longer to get rid of, especially after the 6th treatment, but she doesn't think it will be permanent. If I could tolerate the glucosame supplement, then I might be able to decrease the symptons. Unfortunately, I can't eat anything it is put in during this hard time, so I guess I'll put up with the neuropathy for now.

Walt's off to watch Nathan's soccer scrimmage, then pick up Becca and her friend at horse... So good to have him home to do the running so I can rest for today.

In my devotional this morning, the author asked, "Is Jesus enough?"

It's good to know that even though I've lost my hair, Jesus is enough.
Even though my side effects put me under for a week or so, Jesus is enough.
When I miss out on events that mean a lot to me, Jesus is enough.
If my neuropathy gets worse or even becomes permanent, Jesus is enough.
Worst of all, if the cancer doesn't get cured, Jesus is enough. (Although my prognosis of being cured is excellent. I will trust God in all things.)

It's good to be reminded that Jesus doesn't have to do another thing for us here on earth. He has given himself for us in His death and resurrection, and because of this, we have everything we need to cope in this life and every promise for eternal life. Jesus is enough! I just need to remember this, and ask God to help me feel in my heart what I know in my head during these hard days ahead. Jesus is enough!!

But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ. Philippians 3:7-8

Fall Schedules

*** I discovered this blog post that I wrote two years ago. I remember those days, those struggles, the closeness with God. Today, as I hover around the bathroom, I'm thankful for the lack of nausea. I'm thankful that my calendar will not include chemo trips and sadness over missing out because of the side effects. I've come along way since 2012, and for that, I feel blessed.****


As I was recording Nathan and Ben's soccer games in my calendar, turning to October, I realized that I'll be done with chemo by then! I'll probably miss a couple games in September because of the way they fall after my treatment, but I'll be able to make it to most of their games. I can't wait!

At my Herceptin infusion on Thursday, I met a lady named Linda, too. She was about 15-20 years older than I. We were chatting with the nurse, whose mom was also named Linda, about the popularity of that name during our growing up years. I mentioned how I always had to use my last initial during school because I had at least one other Linda in class every year. The nurse said her mom used her middle name mostly. I wonder if Linda will ever come around to be popular as a name again...

As I was talking with Linda, she mentioned that she didn't suffer from nausea after her chemo treatments. She is on the same treatment schedule as I am, the same drugs, but the only side effect she has experienced so far is fatigue and a little bit of GI discomfort. I can't imagine what it would be like to not have the debilitating nausea, the food adversions, the need to force my body back into the hospital for fluids on Monday. Linda said Monday is her hardest day because she feels the most tired. She probably doesn't even realize how good she has it.

Even though I hate the side effects I've had to endure, I do appreciate the closeness I've felt with God during my hardest times. When I'm busy and life is good, God gets His allotted time in my schedule every day, but not much more. Now, when I can't sleep, I cherish the extra time to talk things over with Him.  It seems like every verse I read in the Bible is the exact verse I need for what I'm going through. I know He holds each of  my tears in His hands. He is there beside me as I suffer and celebrates with me as I recover. I don't feel strong enough to be called to this, but I think that's the place He wants me to be. He is strong enough and He has a purpose for this. And that's more than enough for me.

I've been thinking of this verse this week:

The Lord your God is with you,
he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.” Zephaniah 3:17

I love the image of God rejoicing over me with singing!