Yesterday was a banner day for our family. I went back in for a mammogram and everything looks stable. I'll go back in six months to monitor things, but for now, I'm praising God for a chance to celebrate another day of good health. Walt also landed a huge client this week, so last night we went out to dinner to celebrate God's blessings on our family. Last year, between my cancer and his job, it was a rough year for both of us. It's so nice to have some breathing room in our lives.
I just finished reading A Book of Days by James Rubert. While the book was so-so, the premise was interesting. If you could access a book that would tell you the future, would you want to know? I wouldn't. I look back at my journal from the early days of 2012 and am thankful that I had no idea thehealth challenge that was lurking around the corner. Instead, I enjoyed my days loving my family, teaching the kids, celebrating the boys' birthdays, getting ready for another season of Little League baseball, and driving Becca to all her activities. When I found out on April 20th that we were undergoing a divine interruption, I'm thankful that God provided exactly what we needed each moment of every day for the rest of the year and beyond. Taking one step at a time, focusing on the moment, praying about everything was how we navigated 2012. If I knew on January 1 what our year ahead would offer, I would have wasted all the moments before worrying about what was ahead.
As I am basking in the peace of my clear mammogram, I know that with cancer, I can never be sure that there won't be a test down the road that will come back with scary news. There could also be decades of clean health. I don't know what the future holds. I do know Who holds my future. I'm thankful that God has a book of days that He records every moment--past, present and future. He knows what my days ahead will be like. He promises He will provide the strength to walk each step with Him. Right now, and tomorrow, and as long as I can, I am breathing deeply in the knowledge that God's plan for me and our family is good.
Saturday, April 27, 2013
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
In Quietness and Trust is Your Strength
I read Isaiah 30:15 this morning. The full text reads as follows:
I have been battling a war on my thoughts. April will probably always bring up these memories. My back has been achy again...mostly if I stand or sit too long... I'm back to icing and ibuprofen so that it goes away 100%. In my head, I know I've had a stressful couple of weeks, between a snowstorm in Denver, coming back from spring break to a ton of school and the stress that means for all of us as we try to finish out this year with excellence, lots of running around to scouts and baseball and other activities...sitting outside in the cold, shivering, watching my boys play baseball... I know in my head this is still that muscle that wasn't fully healed when my stress settled back again. In my head, I want to disregard any pain that I am feeling. Yet, my mind wanders to the "...what if it's something more?" So, in repentance of my fear, I turn to God. In rest (and exercise...isn't that the best relief from stress?), I turn to God. In quietness, blocking out the voices of the world and my own mind, I turn to God. In trust, I turn to God. God is my salvation and strength. Nothing else. I don't want to be like the Israelites and be told...."but you would have none of it." I want it!
On to good news, a friend of mine who was called back for a second mammogram received positive news yesterday. She is going to biopsy one little cyst, just to make sure, but it looks very good. I am rejoicing that God spared her this journey! I'm thankful that she is being diligent,despite the fear of finding out something bad, to be screened. Had I been more diligent from the very beginning, I might have caught mine earlier. Yet, I can also be thankful that I caught mine before it spread to the lymph nodes. That definitely makes my prognosis better. While we all need to do our parts to stay on schedule with our screenings, we also have to remember that God is in control. In quietness and trust is our strength...
This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel, says:
“In repentance and rest is your salvation,
in quietness and trust is your strength,
but you would have none of it."
in quietness and trust is your strength,
but you would have none of it."
How often am I guilty of rushing through my day, worrying about things out of my control, completing to-do lists that may not be what God would want? Today I am reminded to slow down, to rest in Jesus, to listen to God in quiet, to trust in Him, not myself, not my circumstances, not the world.
I have been battling a war on my thoughts. April will probably always bring up these memories. My back has been achy again...mostly if I stand or sit too long... I'm back to icing and ibuprofen so that it goes away 100%. In my head, I know I've had a stressful couple of weeks, between a snowstorm in Denver, coming back from spring break to a ton of school and the stress that means for all of us as we try to finish out this year with excellence, lots of running around to scouts and baseball and other activities...sitting outside in the cold, shivering, watching my boys play baseball... I know in my head this is still that muscle that wasn't fully healed when my stress settled back again. In my head, I want to disregard any pain that I am feeling. Yet, my mind wanders to the "...what if it's something more?" So, in repentance of my fear, I turn to God. In rest (and exercise...isn't that the best relief from stress?), I turn to God. In quietness, blocking out the voices of the world and my own mind, I turn to God. In trust, I turn to God. God is my salvation and strength. Nothing else. I don't want to be like the Israelites and be told...."but you would have none of it." I want it!
On to good news, a friend of mine who was called back for a second mammogram received positive news yesterday. She is going to biopsy one little cyst, just to make sure, but it looks very good. I am rejoicing that God spared her this journey! I'm thankful that she is being diligent,despite the fear of finding out something bad, to be screened. Had I been more diligent from the very beginning, I might have caught mine earlier. Yet, I can also be thankful that I caught mine before it spread to the lymph nodes. That definitely makes my prognosis better. While we all need to do our parts to stay on schedule with our screenings, we also have to remember that God is in control. In quietness and trust is our strength...
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