On this date a year ago, I received the phone call that confirmed my breast cancer and set us on this crazy journey. I remember hearing the doctor's words and trying not to think as I focused on what he was saying. Then I called Walt. I went out onto the front porch to tell him out of earshot of the kids. It was harder for me to tell him I had cancer than to hear it myself. I knew he would be upset and I hated to be the source of those feelings. I then sent out an email to my friends and family, unable to speak anymore. I remember my friends coming over to pray and support me. My email inbox overflowed with encouragement and love. The nurse soon called with specific details about my cancer (I was able to write it down this time) and a list of appointments for the next week. I still remember her encouraging me to relax and try to do something fun during the weekend because they were going to keep me busy the following week. A MRI, biopsies and pathology reports followed, but we were thankful that no more cancer was found. So many appointments with doctors ensued. Lots of decisions to be made. In some ways, this year has flown by. These memories are as vivid as if it were last week. In other ways, we've climbed so many giant mountains, staggered through deep valleys, cried so many tears that this year seemed to last a lifetime. Through it all, we held tight to the hand of God, and He was faithful and merciful and loving. I don't know what this upcoming year has in store, but we know that God will be there. It is the one blessed certainty in our journey.
This morning we found out that a mom with two sons in Nathan's Scout Troop died this morning. I've been in tears as I think of her precious children, similar ages to mine. I remember talking with her husband last spring about her breast cancer which spread to her brain. That was when I discovered for the first time that her cancer started in her breast because I only knew her after it was in her brain. She was on chemo for over four years. She lived her life with grace and determination.She had a strong faith in Jesus and is now with Him. She will be greatly missed here, though. Her husband, in an email to the troop, requested, in lieu of flowers, for us to use the money making a memory with our children. What a bittersweet reminder of how fleeting life can be and what is truly important.
When my life starts feeling a bit emotional, as it has been lately, I return to the source of all hope and comfort, Jesus. In Jesus Today, Sarah Young writes: "Put your hope in Me (Jesus) and My Unfailing Love will rest upon you... No matter what is happening in your life today, my story has an amazingly happy ending. My finished work on the cross secured this heavenly hope for you, and it is absolutely assured. Moreover, knowing that your story finishes well can fill your present journey with Joy."
Off to finish off this day, filled with Joy, not because of my circumstances but because of Who is in control of them!
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