Four Months Already?

Today I had a morning appointment for a blood draw. I prayed before and during the procedure that there would be only healthy, happy cells floating around. When the technician was filling up the tubes (I think there were four or five of them) I turned my head, as always. Red blood being drawn from my veins is not something I care to witness. If I could see inside the blood and know what was going on, I might glance a peak. Since only God knows right now, I'll focus on His Face and trust.

Other than an achy tooth from biting on a pretzel a bit too hard, I am feeling amazingly well. Even something which I hope is just a bit of nerve irritation that will calm down in a day or so can lead my brain to what ifs during these days of medical tests and appointments after a four-month hiatus from all of this. What if it's not an ache in the tooth but an ache stemming from the brain where a tumor might be growing? Yup, even the most calm, level-headed person can quickly jump on that bandwagon, because she has had a cancer diagnosis before. For four wonderful months, I've tried to hold thoughts of cancer at bay. It's been four months of focusing on the day, of spending time with family and friends, savoring well-written books, nibbling on fresh fruit and homemade granola, even fitting in a bit of tennis and golf in the midst of my usual walking routine. It has been four splendid months of living life in the moment.

Now, I'm scheduled for a followup appointment with Dr. Kohn on Tuesday, my blood is available for analysis, and I'm back home writing and baking homemade granola. It seems like the serious is mixed with the normal today. Medical tests with daily life. In reality, whether I am preparing a meal for my family or relaxing with a good book and a cup of tea, whether I'm enjoying the unseasonably warm weather on a walk through our neighborhood, no matter what my day brings today, I'm living a serious choice. I'm choosing to trust, to rely on the God who loves me, who knows my future, who knows what words I'm going to hear in my appointment on Tuesday and has already gone before me. I'm living my faith daily, knowing God is good and can be trusted. No matter what. No matter how good or how hard. So, despite my reluctance to re-enter this world of doctor's offices, I am remembering to lean on God today.

What's your hard today? Are you being drawn to trust God in a new way? Are you choosing the serious work of faith in the midst of your normal today? If so, then make it a meaningful day.