Still Cancer Free

As I was driving into the hospital this morning, I listened to Rend Collective's

 The Art of Celebration cd.

One verse resonated with me: It's only in surrender that I'm truly free...

As much as I didn't want to go into the doctor's office to find out what my blood test results were, I knew I needed to. Last night I was a bit cranky, sad that the long weekend with my family at home was drawing to a close, a bit anxious about this appointment. This morning, however, I woke up with a tremendous peace. I know it could only be from God. People were praying that I wouldn't be anxious. People were praying that all my tests would be clear.  God's grace met me as the sun came up today, and I worshipped as I drove in, singing, "It's only in surrender that I'm truly free." I surrendered my fears and anxiety to God as I crossed the parking lot and climbed the stairs. I was calm as I checked "no new symptoms" on my intake paperwork. As I waited for Dr. Kohn to come into the examining room, I simply read from my Kindle. Then Dr. Kohn appeared, systematically checking off her list: my blood work all is normal, white and red blood counts normal, tumor markers normal, liver function normal. I took a moment to silently thank God. We discussed whether I was going to stick with tamoxifen or try another version of the aromatase inhibitor (after my bout of hives from arimidex last fall). Weighing the benefits with the risks, I decided not to rock the boat at this point and stick with tamoxifen since I seem to tolerate it well. Besides the hives, I remember the pronounced achiness in my joints and stronger hot flashes with Arimidex. Dr. Kohn clarified that the increase in survival percentage of an AI is like one, not 40% or even 20%.  So, it's Tamoxifen for now. And that was that. I have an appointment for a followup MRI and labs on June 12 (which is also the kids last day of school!). 

On my way home, I celebrated by buying a cappuccino with coconut milk. Starbucks just started offering this non-dairy option, which I was eager to try. It was a nice alternative to milk, foamy and slightly sweet. When I ordered it, the barista warned me that she hadn't been trained on foaming it. I've looked cancer in the eye and lived to tell about it... I think I can handle an untrained barista foaming coconut milk.

Nathan, (Ben hiding behind), Walt and Becca on the trail

Then I rolled into the rest of my day, as if my appointment didn't happen. How different it would be if I was presented with concerns or worrisome results. Thank you, Jesus!

Yesterday the family went on a hike in Snohomish. Although the parking lot was full, the trails were pleasantly uncrowded--a bit muddy--but overall a fun hike. Who would have thought for February?

Today my job is to enjoy the moments of this beautiful day. I am back from a nice walk with a good friend. I plan on doing a science experiment with Ben soon.The sun is blissfully shining and I'm still cancer free.