The Last One and Three for the New Year

One final tiny pill, and my evening ritual has ended. Five years. Sixty months. One pill per day for approximately 1800 pills. And it's over. It's been about a week since my final pill, and I'm noticing a few subtle changes for the better. I've noticed a quicker motion, where I previously experienced a tightness no amount of stretching could relieve in my right hip and hip flexors.  My feet do not ache during my walks, either.

I still wake up with achy, stiff ankles and feet. My knees continue to hurt when I crouch to view the books on the lowest shelf at the library. Yet, I'm hopeful it'll all be easier soon.

I'm eager to discover how my body responds as I travel this new road of recovery. As I examine my level of stiffness and pain each day, I recognize a lightness. Part of it is the loosening of joints, but the other part is recognizing one more step away from the cancer diagnosis, one less treatment that offers cancer prevention but with negative side effects. It's a great way to start the new year!

Have you made any resolutions for 2018? I've decided to focus on one or two practical things and one that God leads me in to work on each month. This month I am not eating refined sugars after overloading on sweets over Christmas. I wanted to cut the habit of needing something sweet every night. The other day I ate an orange and was surprised by its incredible sweetness. My taste buds recognize natural sugar now.  I'll decide in February how I'll introduce occasional sweets or if I hold out another month. The longer I am away from the refined sugar, the less I crave it. To me, I find it easier to just say, "I can't eat that now," then to moderate how much I eat.

My choices are simple when I visit a coffee shop. Cappuccino for a treat? The foamy milk tastes sweet and creamy. Or a bit of steamed half and half in my coffee? Or just savor it black. Drinking coffee without sugar is still quite enjoyable.

I still have cravings after dinner. I try to drink water, eat a bit of leftover protein as I do the dishes (when I used to sneak spoonfuls of ice cream), peel an orange or slice an apple. I have also sipped Egyptian Licorice tea, which has a naturally sweet taste. When all else fails, I replace my sweet craving with a handful of tortilla chips and try to keep busy. Too often, the handful multiplies, and while I avoided sugar, I still filled up on things I didn't need.  In February, I think I may focus on putting a time limit for eating at night. The kitchen's closed after 8:30 sort of thing.

My second focus this month was to clean out Christmas decorations I no longer loved, and donate a box full of dishes I haven't used or needed. I was able to get rid of a box of decorations (while still saving the kids' handmade ornaments.) Each month, I want to take one area of the house and sort through, throw away and donate items. I think this is doable to keep it small and manageable. The key for me is to bag up donations and drop then off as soon as possible.

My last focus of the month, the one God led me to, is to pause and notice. I was driving to work one morning, and as I descended from the top of the hill where the high school sits, I looked up to see the most vibrant sunrise painted across the sky with the snow-covered mountains framing the wash of colors. I wish I could have pulled over and admired God's handiwork, but I was heading into an early-morning shift at the library. The crazy thing was how long I had been driving in the midst of this masterpiece, thinking about my to-do list, before I noticed this incredible art in the sky. Wait. Wow! I can't believe I get to see this amazing site this morning! It was one of the most beautiful sunrises I have ever experienced. All it took was a moment to notice. (By the way, the picture above isn't from that morning, and my old iphone would have never done justice to the view.)

I'm trying to keep my eyes open more often. Notice the man in the grocery store, unable to reach the carton on the bottom of the shelf from his motorized chair, and offer to help. Notice the weariness in the eyes of the customer in the library and offer her a smile. Choose to hang out with my kids over putting away laundry and discover something new that's going on with them. It takes a long time, but eventually my teenage boys will talk.

I was reading Psalm 8, and paused at this verse: "When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place..."

When I look. When I notice. When I pause to see God in the moment by moment. That is my plan as I enter into this new year.

I would love to hear your ideas as I try out something new each month.