Sweet, Sweet Relief!

As soon as I heard her voice, I knew it was okay. "I have good news," my nurse practitioner stated brightly. "You do not carry the faulty BRCA gene." Yes!!! Yes!! Praise God!!! Tears flowed as I thanked her for calling. God's timing was perfect, too. I mentioned in my last blog post how everytime the phone rang, I panicked a bit. I was not looking forward to that moment when I realized I was answering a call from my doctor's office, those few seconds of worry before hearing what the results were. When the call came tonight, I was driving to Ben's baseball game. I couldn't tell who the call was from, but quickly realized this was the call I had been anticipating for days. Before I knew what was happening, I had the answer I was praying for. To have it come so sweetly, so perfectly, I know it could only have been orchestrated by my loving Father.

On Sunday during my bible study, we listened to a DVD presentation by Priscilla Schirer, and she described a time when she was thankful for unanswered prayer, now that she sees more of the reason God answered her prayers with a no. She said that when she prays now, she adds, "But God, if you want to do something better, that's fine with me!"

I have been praying for God's plan, for His will, for His better. Was I at the point of accepting a positive test result with the same thankfulness as the actual negative one prompted? I doubt it, but I was willing to be willing. I was open to what God deemed His best for me and my family, knowing He would provide all I needed. I am so utterly thankful that this is His answer, but I don't love God more. Nothing He could do would change my love for Him. God's already done more than I deserve. I have His promise of heaven to look forward to, to hold secure.Everything else is just frosting on the cupcake. I am so glad that today I am tasting sweet, sweet frosting! Thanks so much for all of your prayers. It is an honor to run this journey with you.

And in case you were wondering, Ben won his game, 9-8, to top off a beautiful day.

Still Waiting

"For I am the LORD, your GOD, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, 'Do not fear; I will help you.' "
Isaiah 41:13

I'm still waiting on the results of the BRCA test. Today was the first day this week that my heart didn't pound every time the phone rang. It is, after all, Saturday, and I don't expect to hear from my doctor on the weekend. I thought I'd have heard by now, but between the Memorial Day holiday and perhaps a huge increase of the number of tests flooding Myriad Labs (which is the only place the test is performed), I think it'll take longer than originally expected. I plan on calling my doctor early next week to make sure they aren't sitting on the test results for whatever reason. I have an appointment scheduled for Friday (my last Herceptin!), and my doctor may plan on giving me the test results in person. She has done that in the past when I had follow-up tests on my heart, but I'd like to hear on this test as soon as they get word.

While I wait, I'll remember that God longs to be gracious and compassionate to all of us. No matter what the results reveal, God has a plan.

As for God, his way is perfect:
    The Lord’s word is flawless;
    he shields all who take refuge in him.

Psalm 18:30