I'm not a shopper. I avoid crowds like a pregnant woman avoids a deep, cushy couch.
So, what gives? Why am I excited about going out shopping in the wee hours of the morning this Friday?
Because every year I carve out this day to spend with my daughter.
It all started one innocent November when Becca was about 12. My in-laws were moving to the east coast, and our traditional Thanksgiving with family was upended.
A friend of mine invited us to join her and her girls for early morning shopping. At first I turned her down. "Um, no thanks. I went out once on a Black Friday and I told Walt to promise to never let me go out again!"
We were walking the parking lot at our homeschool co-op, and as we walked, my mind began to process this idea. What if we go for the experience, to hang out with our friends and not plan on shopping? What if I treated it as an adventure and not a shopping trip? If we stumble onto a sale, we could partake, but we won't route out the best sales from the ads, trying to navigate crowds for the best promotions, all of which I failed at at previously. What if I looked at this as something Becca and I could do together?
At the end of the loop, I started liking this idea. Without family in town to celebrate holidays, we could start a new tradition. Becca, who loves the mall, probably thought she opened an early Christmas present when I told her our plans.
So on the day after Thanksgiving, we arrived at JC Penneys at 4 a.m. to pick up a free ornament. We hung out with friends at Starbucks, and wandered the mall. We came home with a few packages but mostly memories.
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| Part of the group that first Black Friday |
As my friends' daughters grew up or our paths diverted, as some of my friends chose other places to shop or stayed home, as Black Friday shopping spilled over into Thanksgiving day, the group got smaller and smaller. This will be the second year Becca and I have chosen to go out on our own. Sometimes we run into friends, which is always fun, but I expect it'll be just us this year.
Since I have no desire to go out on Thanksgiving night, desiring to put a few hours of sleep in between being thankful and consumerism, we will continue to show up at the mall around 4 a.m, even though it's been open for hours. We will continue the early morning awakening, drive down darkened, near-empty streets, and if it's like last year, an easy parking spot near the entrance. Instead of at the beginning of the shopping frenzy, our 4 am arrival hits in the sweet spot between those who shop on Thanksgiving night and those who shop during the day.
Our goal is to wander around, probably find some sales at some of her favorite places, maybe find clothes for Walt, the boys and even me, enjoy a coffee at Starbucks, and continue to make a memory. I'll try to get a picture this year.
We don't have specific expectations but are usually surprised by some deal. I don't get much Christmas shopping accomplished, unless Becca surpasses my budget for her clothes and we wrap up some must-have items for under the tree.
Mostly it's time doing something together, watching the crazy people, and finding out what has been on her mind lately.
And as I wander the mall this year, it will be especially poignant since it is likely to be the last time she'll be around for Thanksgiving in a while. She is considering a college out of state, and flying home for Thanksgiving with Christmas break so close probably won't be feasible.
We will cross that bridge when it comes.
In the meantime, I'll set my alarm on Thanksgiving night, and fall asleep anticipating this time once more.
And as I do, realizing the importance of connecting with my kids while they are at home, I'll ponder how I can include a special time with each of my boys this year.
Any suggestions?
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