Greater Grace

He gives greater grace. 

James 4:6

I was reviewing this week's Bible study for the group I lead tomorrow, and I was struck at the significance of God's grace and how it applies to me right now. Even though I had plans of cleaning and getting other things done this morning, I felt led to pick up my computer and blog so I can process what I learned. 

The biggest battle I face right now is a creeping fear that the cancer will recur. All cancer patients go through it. It is especially prevalent when the hard work of surviving treatment is over. Questions linger, and I find myself wondering about God. I know He had a purpose for cancer in my life, and I've grown in ways I never could have without it. But, I wonder, does He plan to use it again or have I learned enough? If I do my part with exercise and diet, can I trust God to keep cancer away? Do I trust His plans, or am I leaning on the medical doctors and treatment more?

These are normal questions, but from my study today, I realize how easy Satan can use these questions to keep my eyes from God. Or at the worst, to question God and resist His presence, afraid that what He is going to ask me to do is too hard. The scary part is that when I resist God's presence, I draw near to Satan. In the study, Beth Moore writes, "Satan doesn't have to convince you and me to do his will for our life. He only has to tempt us to demand our own."

Ouch. I am convicted that my plans, my desires, my goals are not as important as God's plans, which will result in my ultimate good. God's grace comes when I fully submit to Him. God has something bigger for me than my mind can wrap itself around, something that will matter long after I'm gone. My prayer is that another bout with cancer is not in His plans, and I will continue to pray for that in my life. What's important for me to remember, though, is my prayer must also submit to God's will in my life, wherever and whatever that means. 

From the study this week, I've learned these things about God: 

• God is holy and worthy and incapable of abusing His divine authority over me.
•  He knows exactly how to work terrible into good. 
• He loves me completely and unconditionally and will never let me go.
• He knows the well-deliberated plan for my life and how all things must fall into place for me to fulfill my destiny.  (James Mercy Triumphs, by Beth Moore)

When I submit to a loving God, who already knows everything and is only out for my ultimate good (whether I understand it or not), then God's grace will lighten my burden. In fact, the more I submit to God, the more grace He gives. I want to focus on the truths of God and not the shifting sand of circumstances. I want to draw nearer to God as I resist my own plans (which I am now more aware of Satan's influence on those). When the fear trickles back (as I know it will), I want to go back to this list of who God is. And submit to Him. Anything less is not worth the sacrifice, is it?