Math and Chemo and Singing

Math. It's been the bane of my daughter's existence since kindergarten. We had another one of those discussions today about why do I need math. Always to be followed by: when am I going to use it in real life? My daughter is probably right that she won't need to use 4A - 17 + 5A = 19A -79 in real life. I doubt that she'll be an architect or scientist or engineer and especially not a math teacher. Again I told her how math helps you develop abilities to think clearly, be disciplined and organized in working through problems, etc. Most of all, I reminded her that the important thing with math for her is it reveals cracks in the way she responds to stress. Until she works through her attitude on this, math will continue to be difficult for her. I am convinced that math is put in my daughter's world to show her what in her character needs some work.

Chemo is my math. I hate the idea of it. I would do anything to avoid it.  I understand the science of why I need to do it, but it's still hard to make sense of spending the next 4 1/2 months of my life putting toxic chemicals in my body. I don't relish the idea of feeling tired, sore, sick, tasting metal in my food and especially losing my hair. How am I going to use that in real life?

Then, like my daughter with math, I realize it's not about the chemo. It's about what God is going to reveal to me about Himself, and what I will learn about myself while I go through chemo. I know God will show me character issues that couldn't have been learned during a nice, easy summer day. I am confident that God will show how much He loves me through the hands of people running this race alongside me.  He will speak to me through His word truths that I will be able to hold onto whether I'm walking in darkness or light. When nothing else makes sense, I know God has a plan, and I'm trusting in that.

Here is the verse I'm taking with me to chemo: "The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." (Zeph. 3:17)  I might just sing along!