My devotional today began by reminding me to go gently through the day, keeping my eyes on God...I thought as I read this, I should have a pretty easy day. After all, today is my first post-chemo appointment. I would get Herceptin, but not the toxic drugs I got on my chemo days. I did have a mammogram scheduled, but because Dr. Hunter encouraged me to not worry about it, I haven't been.
As I went through my day, I could see why keeping my eyes on Jesus who was shepherding me through my day was an important reminder. I noticed last night a slight swelling in both ankles. I talked with Dr. Kohn about this and she thought it was related to anemia (low red blood cells), but since I was scheduled for an echo on my heart at the end of the month, that she would recommend moving it up a couple of weeks to make sure it's not related to problems with my heart. (This was not unexpected for God, who already knows about my heart and I'm trusting Him with the results.) We also talked about the problems I'm having walking, the weakness and the pain, especially when I walk up hills and stairs. Unless the echo proves differently, she thinks it's all related to the anemia. When I asked her how long I can expect before my blood count normalizes, she said it could be weeks and even months. She doesn't know of any vitamins or nutrition that will help speed up the recovery. She is still recommending not pushing through the pain of my muscles until I start recovering, which she said I'll know when it happens. Then I can increase my exercising. I miss my long walks, but I'll wait for God's timing. I am trying to be very careful with my diet now, especially since I'm not burning as many calories as when I was walking more. My stomach is feeling good, and as I slowly introduce raw veggies back into my diet, I am not developing any new pains or problems.
After getting Herceptin and a quick trip to Trader Joe's, I went back to the hospital for my six-month mammogram. As I was checking in, a lady who looked like she was in her 30s hovered behind me. When the receptionist asked if she could help her, she said her doctor had just faxed an order for a mammogram and she was in shock. Oh, my heart broke for her. I certainly hope whatever the doctor felt turns up benign, and I prayed for her as I waited. When I went in for my mammogram, the tech informed me that my right breast would also be screened. She said that the radiologist wanted to monitor a benign cyst on my right side as well as do the followup screening on the breast that had the cancer. All of a sudden, this easy mammogram that I wasn't worrying about became a bigger deal. What if something shows on my right side? Then I remembered the devotional this morning and knew God was walking this with me. After my mammogram, I was asked to sit in the waiting room while the radiologist looked at my films. This brought back so many memories and fears from sitting in this waiting room last April. Back then, I didn't know I had cancer. Once I learned that, of course, my life would never be the same again. What if something came back abnormal and I had to go through a biopsy again? I reminded myself that God was with me. My sister-in-law offered to have her bible study group pray for my mammogram results today, and I told her I really wasn't worried. As I was sitting in the waiting room, I wish I had people praying for me. I also reminded myself that God was hearing my prayers. When the tech came to get me, she pulled me into a room and before my mind could formulate a question about what this meant, she said that everything was fine. I do have slight calcifications around the clip they placed where they biopsied, but that was not unexpected. It would just be monitored in six months, my normal followup. As I was getting dressed, I let the tears of thankfulness flow and praised God.
I'm heading out the door in a minute to take Nathan to his soccer practice, swing back by the stables where I dropped Becca off for her lesson earlier, then head back to Nathan's practice to retrieve him... I am overjoyed that I get to do this today! These are normal things that I needed help with during the week or so after chemo. Today I would have come back tired, anticipating the nausea and fatigue to hit hard in the next days. Yet, this weekend I get to clean house, watch Ben's soccer game, make cookies for a memorial service, support my friends who just lost their father and grandfather...all the normal life things that I missed when I was undergoing chemo. Tomorrow will be my first day I've gone longer than 21 days between chemos. Although I don't feel 100% with my aches and pains, I'll take it over nausea any day. Just as God promised and my devotional reminded me this morning, "When the road before you looks rocky, you can trust Me to get you through that rough patch. My presence enables you to face each day with confidence." Amen!
No comments:
Post a Comment