Sunday

 I loved being in church this morning. (Missing several Sundays during chemo makes me appreciate being in church all the more.) Our pastor preached an excellent sermon on suffering. What's important about suffering? It's the fact that Jesus never leaves us, that it's always for a season and has a purpose.. Satan likes to use times of suffering to whisper in our ears to get us to question God and His love for us... How do we answer Satan?  Remember 2 Corinthians 4: 18: 

So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.  

Great stuff!

For the most part, I'm feeling better. My stomach, in particular, feels almost normal. My taste is coming back gradually. I was craving a salad yesterday but decided not to push my stomach with the raw veggies, so I had leftover squash instead.  Today I forgot I still have to be careful about food. I went to a luncheon and was all finished with my sandwich before I remembered I'm not supposed to eat uncooked lunch meat. It was too late by then, so I hope that doesn't come back to haunt me. My mind has progressed to the next step, radiation, that I forget that I'm still recovering from this chemo cycle. At least this weekend I'm not dreading my next round. Next Thursday will be almost fun to go in and just receive Herceptin without the more toxic drugs. Then the next day, Friday, will be my first Friday not in a chemo cycle since June..  I can't wait!

The main side effect I am suffering from at present is muscle pain and weakness. I can walk pretty well on flat ground, but hills and steps do me in. Tonight Walt and I took a walk through our neighborhood, and I overestimated my ability to manage the hills. We walked a little too far and I struggled on the way home. All summer long, when I got to this point in my cycle,  I was easily able to walk several miles over hilly terrain. These last cycles, however,  have affected my muscles. I suspect my red blood counts are low and my muscles aren't receiving the oxygen they need.  When I need to open a jar, I call on one of the kids to do it for me since I don't have the strength in my hands, either. I plan on asking the doctor on Thursday how long it might be before my blood count recovers.

The boys got to have three friends spend the night last night. It was the first sleepover at our house that any of the kids have had since at least June. This family has  helped us so many times, letting our boys sleep over there, driving them to practices and games when we were stuck at the doctor's or I wasn't feeling well. It felt good to be able to help them out by having their younger boys here so they could go out on a date last night, and even though it wasn't necessary, let their boys spend the night. It's a sign that things are starting to return to normal around here.

Of course, I still have radiation to go through. On Friday, I have my simulation scheduled. Here I'll get  measured and lined up precisely. Then my doctor will figure out the exact dosage of radiation and time frame required. .I hope he isn't going to recommend longer than seven weeks, but we'll cross that bridge if it's required.

On this Sunday night, I'm grateful. Grateful that I got to see both boys' soccer games this weekend. The rainy weather has hit us finally this fall, and it was cold and wet. It was still fun to cheer on both boys to victory. We came home from Nathan's game to watch the tape of the great Seahawks victory over the Patriots. The kids are all finished with homework and we're ready for a new week. Only two trips to the hospital for me this week (down from three last week). I think it's going to be a good week.