Are you getting tired of hearing about my back? I know I am! The good news is it is continuing to get better. I'm trying to be careful with it (sleeping on a firmer mattress, icing it, taking anti-inflammatory pills, etc.), but yesterday one of my friends mentioned I shouldn't be lifting a heavy backpack, either. (I was hauling around my laptop to the kids' lit co-op so I could do some work on a lesson I am preparing for an upcoming class.) I feel confident that my back is going to be better, but my friend is right. I shouldn't put extra stress on it while it is healing. I'll try to be wiser about what I lift for now. I'm looking forward to the day my back is 100% pain free... I'm getting there.
It's amazing to me to think that one week ago today, I was in the depths of fear and worry about my back. How did I let myself go down that path so quickly? I think it's because I chose to focus on what could be instead of God. Could God lead me down a difficult path? Of course. Could I get not-so-good news down the road? Yes. It's happened before. Does it do an ounce of good to worry about something that may not ever come into existence? I think that's the point. When I worry about something that isn't true, I steal from today. Last Friday, I couldn't enjoy the time I had with my kids because my mind continued to travel the road of "what if..." Has anything changed since Friday? I haven't had any new scans, no new medical tests confirming that everything is fine. All I have is my doctor's comment that she wasn't concerned at this point. Plus, since Monday, the pain is better every day. Those two things help to get my focus back where it should be. I tend to dismiss things easily, so I believe I need to strike a balance between caution and worry. It think it's found somewhere between focusing on every new symptom and fully trusting God to reveal to me what is important. I know that cancer can spread despite the best treatments. I just don't think I should be thinking about that right now. It's not my story that God is writing. Not today. Hopefully not tomorrow. But, definitely not today!
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things. Philippians 4:8
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