As I write this, I'm watching Ben's baseball practice. It's a busy time of year for our family with two boys on different teams and a daughter with lots of activities to coordinate. I love spring because of baseball, tulips and daffodils, and the promise of warmer temperatures. This time of year also dredges up lots of memories of the start of this breast cancer race. In fact, if you see me around these days, don't be surprised or worried if you see tears in my eyes. Things are a bit emotional for me as memories break through the surface.
It was on Good Friday of last year that I went in for the mammogram that revealed my cancer. While that was the beginning of this emotional and physical roller coaster, it can also be considered a day that saved my life. Had I not gone in for my routine mammo at this time, or waited much longer to get it on the calendar, my fast-growing, aggressive cancer could have spread to my lymph nodes or somewhere in my bones, liver or brain. My Stage II diagnosis could have easily been Stage III or the incurable Stage IV. Yes, I'm thankful that my cancer was discovered when it was and I will not look at Good Friday (no matter what day it falls on each year) the same again.
Just being at the baseball fields where last year so many of my friends stepped in the gap to help deliver our boys to a practice or game when Walt and I were stuck in a doctor's office or traffic trying to make our way home is emotional. I'm looking at the bleachers where I sat after my surgery and kept score, trying to keep my focus on the present and not worry about what my next step would be. My days were filled with appointments and tests and procedures, but my nights were for watching baseball whenever I could. Ben hasn't received a hat for this year's team, yet, so he still wears his Mariners' hat with the pink ribbon stitched on the side. I'm looking forward to building more memories as I watch the boys play, not so much around my cancer, but of living life.
Yesterday I went in for my echo on my heart. I am being monitored a lot more closely since my last one showed the decrease in my heart function. For some reason, it took three follow-up calls by me to get this appointment scheduled. I may have been more relaxed about it had there not been the concern with how Herceptin might be affecting my heart. I have my next infusion scheduled for next Thursday, the day before I leave for Colorado. I wanted to make sure the cardiologist had time to look at the pictures and get his recommendation over to my oncologist. If I don't hear from her, I'll assume that things are still okay to receive the infusion as scheduled. I'm getting down to my final ones, and I hope to be able to complete the recommended course of this drug without any more damage to my heart.
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