Ben played in a soccer tournament this past weekend. It was rainy and cold, but not nearly as cold as two years ago when Nathan played in the same tournament. He faced some stiff competition this weekend and was disappointed his team didn't do better. I am thankful that I got to be there, despite the cold and the rain.
I had a dream last night that my hair had grown back thick and dark, about 2-3 inches, long enough to wear without a hat. I had fun showing off my new hairstyle. The dream felt so real that the first thing I did when I woke up this morning was to check on my hair. Still thin and fluffy. I couldn't help being a bit disappointed. I have no idea how long it's going to take to grow. I don't have any bald spots, but the hair is very light, like baby's hair.
As I often do when I have a question, I did a search on Google to get a ballpark on when I can expect to see real hair on my head, not this peach fuzz. Of course, the answer is everyone's hair grows at different speeds, and it depends on where I was in my hair growth cycle, because I guess hair grows in cycles. I saw a Youtube video documenting one person's experience as her hair grew back, which was pretty interesting. I think I should expect at least four to five months.
Then I discovered that with Taxotere, some people never regrow hair, or if they do, it's very thin...
What? Is that true? I hadn't heard about the potential of not growing back hair. It must be rare as my doctor is very thorough on giving me all the side effects. I looked again and discovered about 6%... that seems pretty high. Um...
However, as most things in this journey, I cannot worry about things in the future. I will pray that I grow my hair back and trust God fully. I have a good start of peach fuzz since I never fully lost all my hair, so I'll just hope for more thickness and growth. And mostly, to be patient during this time.
At least I haven't grown too sick of hats yet. Today I wore the brown hat that Krista and Pam gave me and got so many new compliments. My cousin Luci is knitting me hats that I'm eager to add to my supply. Maybe I'll even splurge on a hat I saw online. Before my dream, I wasn't even thinking about my hair. Now, I need to refocus on things that are important again. Like things I'm thankful for, such as ... HATS! That even with the side effects, the chemo drugs are kicking any cancer in my body. That I am recovering and feeling good. These are the blessings in my life. When my hair grows back, I'll add that to my list. Until then, I won't worry. Instead, I plan to rejoice in the Lord.
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